Oh you are so cheeky. With your catchy, kick-ass anthems, dazzling punk rock costumes, and punchy dance moves. Your creators, Lucy Moss and Toby Marlow, described you as being all about ‘the six wives of Henry VIII, but – like – a pop group’. And that’s all that needs to be said, really. You give us exactly the experience we go in expecting – a rowdy, feel-good, Henry-bashing, girl-powered pop concert. Turns out there’s actually something comforting in that.
It also turns out that 3.5 million fans the world over, each year, would agree. Your rise has been swift – from a hokey entry in the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 2017, to winning 23 major category accolades during the Broadway Awards in 2022, including two Tonys. Oh, and with one billion streams, you’ve got the second most-streamed cast recording in the world, after Hamilton. Not bad for a little six-character show retelling tragic stories from the 16th century, eh?
The premise of your plot is simple – all six of the Queens get together and devise a competition to decide who deserves the crown for the most wronged wife. They each have their chance to convince us they suffered the most at the hands of Henry VIII, within the space of their respective solos. The rest plays out exactly like a sharply rehearsed concert, with a multitude of puns and cheesy humour interspersed between each song.
It’s the third time in four years that you’ve graced us with your royal presence here in Sydney, and just like the other times, each of the six Queens brings something special to the stage. Kimberley Hodgson, as Catherine of Aragon, brings the satirical laughs, as only a Queen can do whose husband has literally created a new religion and the entire concept of divorce to get rid of her. And if we weren’t laughing at Deirdre Khoo, as Anne Boleyn, we’d be crying, given her fate (spoiler alert: she’s beheaded). Plenty of absurd historical fodder for witty one-liners though. Fans of Game of Thrones’ Natalie Dormer in The Tudors, ought to be warned however – the Anne Boleyn in this girl group is far more like Ginger Spice than Posh.
Loren Hunter, as Jane Seymour, brings the emotion, with the token power ballad that every pop album – ahem musical – needs. And it’s a beautiful song – though we do need to suspend our disbelief just a little. (I mean, on the balance of probability, is it really likely this Queen had an undying love for Henry, the infamously bad-tempered old guy who just had his ex’s head cut off?) It’s easier to cheer for Zelia Rose Kitoko, as Anna of Cleves, when she brings the house down with her sassy, bad-ass ‘don’t need no man’ vibes.
Chelsea Dawson, as Katherine Howard, is the hard-hitting cautionary tale. The lyrics and choreography to represent her story – starting light and becoming increasingly sinister – could not have been better executed (pardon the pun). And Giorgia Kennedy, as Catherine Parr, not only kicks off the important transition from catfight to Queendom, but also brings vocals to next century. But really, as talented as each of your Queens are, your whole is greater than the sum of your parts. When they all get together, the atmosphere is electric with joyful female empowerment.
The only problem is this: we want more of you! Your 80 minute run-time, and nine-song set list (without an intermission) definitely has room to include a few more sordidly-fascinating details of the Queens’ stories. I mean, Hamilton has 46 songs and that’s just about one guy. Just sayin.
We get it though – you’re a satire, not a retelling. You aim to provide a fun night out for your audience, and you damn well meet that goal. What would the real Tudor Queens have made of this all, if they’d known how their legacy would live on? Well, they’d probably be happy to know a woman can now tell her story without being labelled a witch (that’s some progress). But they’d perhaps be surprised that in other ways, women are still dealing with the same old problems they were over five centuries ago.
Undoubtedly though, they would have been whooping at the notion of being united to give Henry the ultimate f-you.
With love,
Showing at Theatre Royal Sydney until 28 December 2024. Images: Theatre Royal Sydney
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